Where has my brain gone?

After a million years not updating this, I guess I will attempt to define where I am these days:



I started school a while back, and I'm still in it. I'm doing just a few classes at a time to try and figure out what I like to learn about and to keep busy. I'm helping Daniel stay on track toward his degree (only about a year left!!). I've been crocheting some, quilting a little, painting a little, and drawing a little, but none of it enough. I started a novel. (Don't ask for excerpts, though, because I'm keeping them pretty close to the chest for now.) And I'm having a bit of a nervous breakdown.

That last may seem a bit melodramatic, but what else to call it when you're arguing with your own brain? You see, I miscarried on March 1st. It would have been our first child, and we were both TERRIFIED and also VERY excited about the whole thing. I was a week and a half out from my first appointment with the midwife. I was doing everything well. And then I woke up gushing blood. So now my brain, under the influence of some incredibly powerful chemicals, is trying to get me to try again, RIGHT NOW! Which is not an option. Mostly because I need time to heal and grieve and wrap my brain around this last several months.

Every single day, I have to argue my brain out of demanding babies. It's getting super exhausting, but I seem to be winning. The demands are getting less urgent and less intense. I'm feeling more balanced, finally. I can only hope this will continue. Meantime, I'm writing away to keep myself occupied.